Personal Reflections (Working)
Read participants' reflections on their self-practice during the COVID-19 pandemic.
- Cathy, Ontario
A Path to Follow
Why I joined?
When asked why I started Taoist Tai Chi® practice, my response was that mostly I was curious because my dad had joined a community session a couple of years before his passing. But that couldn’t explain why I’ve stayed for almost 17 years and why the arts have become such a treasured part of my life.
Why I stayed?
Recently, I’ve come to understand this connection more deeply. After my parents passed away within a few months of each other, I needed to fill a void in my life. I no longer had the forces guiding my moral compass and the wisdom of their years as my counsel. And I have come to see that the eight virtues that Master Moy encouraged us to live by are the same values with which I was raised.
The leadership of FLK and his teachings give me the path to follow. They are my guide and my compass. The organization feels like family. And now I have an eternal foundation and ancient traditions that stand in place of my personal roots. Daily practice of the eight virtues tames my heart and brings direction and meaning to my life. I am grateful for the wisdom of the Taoist Tai Chi® arts.
Filial Piety – it came naturally and without question to honour our parents. It is a gift to be able to provide for them during All Souls Festival.
Sibling Harmony – respect and caring of others was a foundation in my family, and these qualities are exemplified in the family of participants around the world – the feeling is unmistakable in all interactions and gatherings.
Dedication – honesty, hard work, and commitment with an open heart – unspoken but understood as I was growing up – it became a part of my being and I try to set an example of this for my children – the FLK leadership tirelessly demonstrates this dedication.
Trustworthiness – sincere heart and reputation for truth and honesty – lies and deceit were simply not tolerated in my family and have no place on our path.
Propriety – our life was simple, but not without strict observance of good conduct, manners and courtesy. The FLK family exemplifies this in all interactions. Disrespect is not tolerated.
Sacrifice – my parents were the reflection of selflessness – raising four children, caring for each other, working tirelessly to set an example of trust, honesty and dedication. I have opportunity now still, to continue to learn from the examples set by the FLK family.
Honour – the humble hearts of my parents touched all with whom they shared this life – co-workers, extended family, neighbors and even many they encountered only briefly. I am reminded of this humility and sincere heart in the FLK organization.
Sense of Shame – dignity in the face of trials, sincerity, and virtuous living. Life lessons taught by my parents that bring peace and balance. These lessons continue.
- Cathy, Ontario
- Claire, Saskatchewan
Just Practice
I remember my first retreat with Master Moy. I had only been practicing Taoist Tai Chi® arts for a few months. I approached Master Moy during a break and asked him what I should do to get better, to improve, expecting something profound. He just looked at me and then said “practice” and walked away. At the time I thought to myself “that’s not much help.” But I continued practicing his teachings.
Over the years, as I continued to practice, and from time to time reflected on what Master Moy had told me, I came to realize that I was slowly improving and that it was happening by following his teachings. I didn’t appreciate until years later just how truly profound that advice was. There were no shortcuts. Just practice.
- Claire, Saskatchewan
- Sandra, Great Britain
Gaining Trust
I feel I was very fortunate to have found the Taoist Tai Chi® arts almost twenty years ago now, especially when I witness my siblings still to this day struggling with the effects of our tough childhood.
When you are born into a dysfunctional family, have parents who have a volatile relationship, undiagnosed mental health issues, and who then go on to have ten children...you find yourself in an environment of turmoil, neglect, and emotional and physical abuse, where there is no trust, no direction, no chance of being able to let go. All of this takes a toll on your health.
After the busy period of time in life finally started to slow down - with work, bringing up a family, and trying to catch myself up on my lack of education - I decided it was time to look after myself a bit more. I’d already had a couple of health issues in the past but I was then diagnosed with an inflammatory bowel disease (IBD). I was told it was going to be a long-term condition, but I wasn’t prepared to accept that so I sought out an art to help me regain my health. For a few years I practiced a different style of Tai Chi, but it didn’t have the philosophy that I expected a Tai Chi society to have. I then came across his teachings. That first session I attended had a feeling of being at home and I can still remember that feeling and visualise that class today.
I feel that the many years of classes, intensives and retreats I have attended over the years feel like the long foundation course that I personally needed. They helped me rid myself of the IBD condition and prepared me well for the last two years of the pandemic where I was able to focus even more on myself and my self-practice. The last two years, for me, have felt like the degree course that followed my long foundation course. With the weekly FLK sessions helping me along the way, the many reminders of not to worry, and applying the themes of the FLK sessions to my practice and my daily life. The daily physical practice slowly became a habit. Paying attention to the feelings, alongside the admin involved in the national, regional, branch and class zoom calls - all of these things together helped me to finally recognise and experience the feeling of trust, the feeling of being part of a family who cared enough to nurture us, the feeling of having some direction and the feeling that I can maybe even let go, even during these strange times that we are in.
When as a child and as an adult you are given no option but to get drawn into other people's turbulence, because they are your family, it has meant the journey of gaining balance, health, trust and confidence has been a long one for me. Today I am healthier than I have ever been. The years of practicing his teachings resulted in a feeling of stillness, a stillness I had never experienced as a child, this stillness alone has made that long journey worthwhile.
My parents have both since passed. During the All Souls Festival last year, hearing that the idea of the festival was a way to help everyone to let go and reconcile themselves, find harmony, move forward and return to healthy relationships both for the living and the dead. All this was difficult for me to relate to, but I bought two temporary memorial plaques - one for each of my parents, in the hope that they are both finally resting in peace.
- Sandra, Great Britain
- Kathy, USA
Looking Inward to Look Outward
What I have come to appreciate more deeply over the last two years is that development as a person does not stop once we become an adult. Before, after getting involved in some new aspect of the organization, I would think ‘OK, now I understand what this is.’ But now I know that his teachings can’t be fully understood or explained in a few words. There is always more.
My parents were my first trusted guides when I was a child and I developed slowly over time, as all children do. I lost them both tragically just after I reached adulthood. I had to go by their early teachings as I navigated the adult world. I was lucky to have received a good foundation from them, a good education and good genes. They all served me well and gave me confidence to carry on as a young adult.
Then ten years ago, after my own kids were grown, I started learning Taoist Tai Chi® arts. I came at first for the physical practice, but I soon realized that I was getting much more from it.
This practice provides stability, support and assurance to me as an adult, similar to what my family provided when I was a child. The rituals offer comfortable patterns to life, the daily physical practice improves my physical health and stability, and the encouragement from leadership to develop good habits and let go of worry provides the support needed to keep improving.
I have taken to heart the lesson to look inward at my own rough spots – places that are in need of improvement. I am assured that it takes time – one percent – and I am encouraged to go easy on myself (and on others) while having the discipline to keep at it. I am learning to look inward and trust my feelings – my heart, and I have developed more confidence. Knowing that I am OK allows me to not worry about myself and instead look outward to discover what I can do to help others.
I am grateful to have found his teachings for new guidance on the path to becoming a better adult.
- Kathy, USA
- Candida, Spain
Internal Softness
Han sido muchas las cosas vividas en esta pandemia, intentaré nombrar algunas.
Personalmente, la práctica del Taoist Tai Chi®, reuniones, cantos, junto a las traducciones de los sábados y personas que habéis estado de alguna manera, puedo decir que sabía el día en que vivía porque estabais ahí.
Beneficios:
Lo mejor ha sido, la comprensión, sólo el uno por hoy.
Si no prácticas, tranquila. Empieza de nuevo.
Y he pasado por todo ello.
Dejar ir, no solo los brazos, o el cambio de peso, o al bajar con el don-yu. También implica soltar complejos, culpas, frustraciones, enfados, rencores. Soltar rigideces.
Beneficios:
Dejarme sentir, sin intervenir, sin juzgar, simple.
He ganado, en suavidad, más internamente que quizá en el exterior.
Aceptar los cambios por los que debido al clima, la salud, edad, circunstancias, etc. Vivirlos con la máxima tranquilidad y paz posible, sin reproches ni exigencias, a los que soy muy dada.
Es muy grato, y enriquecedor en conjunto la experiencia que estamos viviendo.
No cabe duda, que mi manera de ver la vida, se ha ampliado mucho.
Vengo de una religión fuerte e intensa, la católica.
En ella, desde que era niña, describían el cielo, y a Dios, como algo infinito, que por mucho trabajo, nunca llegaremos al final.
Bueno, las artes del Taoist Tai Chi® me han enseñado que esto es así. Ya que desde la primera clase hace 17 años a lo que ahora sé....
Y lo que me queda por experimentar, me da la respuesta a ese infinito que aprendí siendo muy niña. Estoy muy agradecida de pertenecer a esta organización.
Y en la espera de nuevos reencuentros todos juntos. Seguiré reencontrándome como hasta ahora.
There have been many things lived in this pandemic. I will try to name a few.
Personally, because of Taoist Tai Chi® practice, meetings, chanting, along with the Saturday discussions and people who have been there in some way, I can say that I knew the day I was living because you were there.
Benefits:
The best thing has been understanding just the one for today.
If you don't practice, don't worry. Start again.
And I've been through it all.
Letting go, not just the arms, or the weight change, or going down with the don-yu. It also involves letting go of complexes, guilt, frustrations, anger, resentment. Letting go of rigidities.
Benefits:
Letting myself feel, without intervening, without judging, simple.
I have gained in softness, more internally than perhaps externally.
Accept the changes due to the weather, health, age, circumstances, etc. To live them with the maximum tranquility and peace possible, without reproaches or demands, to which I am very inclined.
The experience we are living is very pleasant and enriching as a whole.
There is no doubt that my way of seeing life has expanded a lot.
I come from a strong and intense religion, the Catholic religion.
In it, since I was a child, Heaven and God were described as something infinite, that no matter how hard we work, we will never reach the end.
Well, Taoist Tai Chi® arts has taught me that this is so. Since the first session 17 years ago to what I know now.
And what I have left to experience gives me the answer to that infinity that I learned as a child.
I am very grateful to belong to this organization. And while I am waiting for new reunions all together, I will continue to meet again as I have done so far.
- Candida, Spain
- Marien, Spain
Going Deeper
Este año y medio de pandemia, a pesar de lo duro que haya sido y siga siendo, ha sido bueno para mi práctica del Taoist Tai Chi®. Hasta este año, mi práctica se reducía a las sesiones que yo lideraba y recibía. Sin embargo, durante todo este tiempo he estado practicando en solitario y, aunque me encantan las sesiones, la práctica en solitario ha sido muy enriquecedora. Estoy aprendiendo a ser más observadora, a la vez que me está permitiendo profundizar en los movimientos y encontrar mi ritmo.
A través de todos estos años, la práctica del Taoist Tai Chi® me ha sido súper beneficiosa y soy consciente de la mejoría física que he tenido, porque no he necesitado medicación para el dolor.
También, este año he tenido la oportunidad, gracias a los cantos de los sábados, de familiarizarme con ellos al poder practicarlos casi cada semana. Los cantos me han enseñado a dejarme llevar, a que no me importe tanto el cómo sale, simplemente disfrutar y eso después me ha servido para aplicarlo a los movimientos.
Las charlas semanales con los líderes en formación, tanto de mi rama como las de las otras ramas, han hecho que sienta la conexión que tenemos entre todos y a aprender de ellos y con ellos.
Algo que voy trabajando día a día es en ser mejor persona y que lo importante es el ahora.
Doy gracias a la organización por hacerme sentir respaldada en todo momento y aunque me gustaría retomar las sesiones, sólo me ocupo en mejorar mi práctica del Taoist Tai Chi®. Sé que eso será beneficioso en las futuras sesiones.
This year and a half of pandemic, as hard as it has been and continues to be, has been good for my Taoist Tai Chi® practice. Until this year, my practice was reduced to sessions, which I led and took. However, during all this time I have been practicing alone and, although I love the sessions, the solo practice has been very enriching. I am learning to be more observant, at the same time it is allowing me to go deeper into the movements and find my rhythm.
Through all these years, Taoist Tai Chi® practice has been super beneficial to me and I am aware of the physical improvement I have had, because I have not needed pain medication.
Also, this year I have had the opportunity, thanks to the Saturday chanting, to familiarize myself with them by being able to practice them almost every week. The chanting has taught me to let myself go, to not care so much about how it comes out, just enjoy it and that has helped me to apply it to the movements.
The weekly talks with the leaders in training, both from my branch and the other branches, have made me feel the connection that we all have with each other and learn from them and with them.
Something that I am working on day by day is to be a better person and that the important thing is now.
I thank the organization for making me feel supported at all times and although I would like to resume sessions, I only focus on improving my Taoist Tai Chi® practice. I know that will be beneficial in future sessions.
- Marien, Spain
- Toni, Spain
Regularity and Balance
Reflexionar sobre los beneficios obtenidos durante este tiempo de práctica individual ha sido duro. Después de pensarlo durante algún tiempo, he llegado a la conclusión, de que algunos de ellos aún son tan sutiles que, a día de hoy no puedo expresarlos por escrito. Por tanto me centraré en los que soy verdaderamente consciente que así son.
El equilibrio mental y psicológico que me aporta la regularidad de las sesiones de cantos de los sábados, la de los lunes y de todas las otras actividades de la asociación en las que estoy presente. Me ayudan a no abandonarme y a mantenerme conectado con la gente pues desde que dejé de liderar sesiones, asistir a los retiros y me jubilé, mi relación social se ha circunscrito a mi entorno familiar y poca cosa más.
En los cantos, cada vez me siento más conectado con ellos y estoy aprendiendo el deja ir y a ganar en resiliencia. Me ayudan a no dispersarme y a aprender de las diferentes versiones. No me preocupo si me equivoco. Estoy más atento y en la siguiente línea lo vuelvo a intentar.
Conocer mejor a mis compañeros. Las reuniones semanales de la rama, y a nivel nacional, me ha permitido conocer las reflexiones y el pensamiento de mis compañeros de la asociación. Conozco a muchos de ellos desde hace años, pero no ha sido hasta hora, en que hemos sido más capaces de compartir nuestras experiencias y pensamientos como nunca, tanto en lo relativo a nuestro día a día con el covid, como con nuestra evolución respecto a la práctica individual, las enseñanzas de los líderes internacionales y la evolución de la organización.
Constatar que cuanta más práctica de Taoist Tai Chi® hago, mejor me siento físicamente y cómo esta fortaleza me afecta psicológicamente y me permite afrontar mejor el día a día. Lo mismo al revés, cuanto menos practico, peor me siento y lo que es fácil se convierte en una dificultad. Tener las artes del Taoist Tai Chi® en mi vida es una gran cosa si las pongo en práctica y las hago mías. A pesar de la barrera del idioma, el mismo efecto ocurre con la organización, si me implico en ella me doy cuenta de la fortaleza que tiene y como esta me hace sentir que no estoy sólo y que oír compartir a otras personas su experiencia me ayuda muchísimo a comprender mi situación actual y la de los demás.
Reflecting on the benefits obtained during this time of individual practice has been hard. After thinking about it for some time, I have come to the conclusion that some of them are still so subtle that I cannot express them in writing today. Therefore I will focus on those that I am truly aware that they are so.
The mental and psychological balance that brings me the regularity of the chanting sessions on Saturdays, Mondays and all the other activities of the organization in which I am present help me not to abandon myself and to stay connected with people because since I stopped leading sessions, attending retreats and retired, my social relations have been limited to my family environment and little else.
I feel more and more connected to the chantings and I am learning to let go and gain resilience. They help me not to disperse and to learn from the different versions. I don't worry if I make a mistake. I am more attentive and I try again on the next line.
Getting to know my colleagues better. The weekly branch meetings, and at the national level, have allowed me to get to know the reflections and thinking of my fellow members of the organization. I have known many of them for years, but it has not been until now that we have been able to share our experiences and thoughts as never before, both in terms of our day to day life with COVID, as well as our evolution with respect to individual practice, the teachings of international leaders and the evolution of the organization.
I notice that the more Taoist Tai Chi® practice I do, the better I feel physically and how this strength affects me psychologically and allows me to better cope with the day to day. The same thing the other way around, the less I practice the worse I feel and what is easy becomes a difficulty. Having the Taoist Tai Chi® arts in my life is a great thing if I put them into practice and make them my own. Despite the language barrier, the same effect happens with the organization, if I get involved in it I realize how strong it is and how it makes me feel that I am not alone and that hearing other people share their experience helps me a lot to understand my current situation and that of others.
- Toni, Spain